CSI Nagoya
- Apr 18, 2017
- 6 min read
So last, last weekend was kinda interesting. We was back out in the bush with our boy Nick at night, shooting some more scenes for the video to an upcoming single, carrying on into the dead of night on the banks of the recently rained upon Shonai river amongst tiny farm plots, a creepy rattling noise that crept up on us any time the wind blew, and a freshly dug grave such as you might expect to see on an episode of The Walking Dead.
Preparations began in the mid-afternoon with Mike and Nick hauling out the generator, all of the photographic equipment as well as the other necessary items for the shoot to the location. Due to some peskily placed poles in the road leading out of the regular people's car park, Mike was left with no choice but to take our little ret-a-car cross country to deliver the goods, driving through long grass at a 45 degree angle up the flood embankment several times to get into position.
As is par for the course on our set, there was no shortage of beer and pizza on the rider for the cast and crew :) No expense was spared.
Our bass player Rob was the 'head smoke machine guy' until he was physically unable to keep on in the position. Rob even managed to find time in his busy Monday morning schedule to have an Asahi Super Dry induced hangover.
Being a typical bloody Australian, optimistically, I predicted the weather would remain tolerably warm enough to go in shorts, t-shirt and double pluggaz - it turned out being a frigid 9 degrees with a wind-chill factor of 3. It's funny how a long, cold winter spent wrapped in clothes can overcome an Australian's rational thought process with the urge to increase the surface area to elemental exposure ratio of their skin. Our heroine, Kendall, also had to expose a large amount of skin due to costume choice and we felt sorry for her so we took turns at blanket wrapping duty between shots.
Nevertheless, the conditions were perfect for what we were out here for, and there were plenty of blankets and extra clothes floating about so I suited myself up with a mysterious borrowed jacket with many deep pockets.
The main scene was well-lit from all angles. with colored and natural lights accentuating the creepy and foreboding mood of the shoe-grabbingly fresh mud surrounding the shallow funeral plot. This was indeed the night on which several of us were destined to meet our doom under dire circumstances. Nick's extensive snuff-footage collections provided for some inspired deaths for all involved.
To the left you can see our main villain laid out after being clocked the fuck out with a shovel by the heroine.
As the highway runs along the top of the flood break, the well-lit paddock below provided a grizzly spectacle to the passing Sunday evening motorists.
Here is our drummer Mike with a message from beyond the grave.
So at about 9 o'clock everything was going according to plan. We had one scene left to shoot, we were all tired and ready to go home, I had to start a new job the next day and it is a very busy time in Japan in general during April, so Mike drove Pete and Rob to the station to head back to Toyohashi while Nick, Dave and Kendall prepared for the last shot and I began filling in the grave. We were all just about ready to PTFU and GTFO when suddenly a lone Oji-san (little old man) appeared from the road, wielding a little torch and began talking to Nick in Japanese. The exchange went something thusly:
「すいません、中村区警察署なんですけど、ここで何やってるのか？」
"Excuse me, Nakamura Police, what are you doing out here?"
「バンドのPVを撮影してるんですが、ダメですか」
"We're shooting a music video, are we not allowed to do it here?"
「あ、そっか〜。全然いいですよ。何かね、車で通ってる人から電話があって、所内側の堤防下で殺人事件を目撃したところだと！」
"Oh I see. Yeah that's no problem at all. The thing is we received a phone call from somebody driving along the highway that said they had just witnessed a violent murder on the banks of the Shonai river!"
Oh snap! Somebody, somehow had mistaken a large video production for a gangland killing and we got paid a visit by a singular little old beat cop on a mama-chari (old lady bicycle). Lucky for him we weren't a gang of vicious thugs. You get that on the big jobs I suppose. Anywho, a good story to tell people I think to myself as I return to shoveling mud.
The wind then picks up, and I hear the creepy rattling sound to my right. When I look up, I can see that I am being encroached upon by two shadowy figures holding torches. I look to my left and there are two more coming from out of the bush. I look to the road and there are eight more coming in the front way. This is a raid and we're being ambushed by a fucking SWAT team or something.
Looking down at the filthy, muddy floor, I don't look forward to being told to get on the ground as they cuff me up, so I just keep my mouth shut, don't look directly at them and pretend nothing strange is going on as I continue to fill-in a freshly dug grave. The officers approach me, closer. And closer. Until suddenly, when they are about 10 feet from me, they make a turn to the right, completely ignoring the most suspicious behavior occurring at that point and head towards the others, who are now being accosted by the snack table. I think to myself "these are the most inept police officers I've ever seen", continuing to fill the hole.
Eventually I get the grave filled in and move over to see what the commotion is. It turned out they were the homicide squad, and there had actually been a spate of gang-related murders and body dumpings in the area and they felt the need to investigate our matter. Whether they had acted on the same report as the old guy, I don't know.
Of course, being gaijin (foreigners), they wanted to check our ID, but they went one step further and asked to check inside my wallet. Nick is even asked to show inside his cigarette packet Ok, whatever, looking for drugs, fair enough, everybody knows that only gaijins use drugs in Japan (yeah right!) so it's a reasonable assumption, I hope nobody has any drugs on them with us tonight but I doubt it. Then, however, the cop asks me to empty my pockets. No problem, my keys and some headphones. Then he's like, "what about the jacket?". What jacket? Oh shit, this jacket? Who owns this jacket again? My heart starts racing as the classic scene plays out in my head "Honestly sir, it's not my jacket, I'm holding it for a friend!" - "Yeah right, I've never heard that one before..." - "But this time it's true!".
Of course there was nothing in the jacket, but when you're in a position of vulnerability with law-enforcement, all sorts of paranoid scenarios tend to run through your head in the heat of the moment. Kendall's gaijin ID card was actually with her wallet in the rental, so this prompted another round of questioning - "What car?", "Who's in the car?", "Where is the car?". It was starting to feel like they were never going to leave us alone, despite us doing nothing wrong. All we wanted to do was finish up and go home.
After what had seemed like a long time Mike returned, deftly deflecting questions to help us get these guys out of our face and wrap up the proceeding. Luckily somebody had managed to get a text back to Mike and warn him not to go cross country up the embankment. A parking ticket on our rent-a-car would an added expense and another hour of dealing with the cops we would not really need at that moment.
All-in-all it was an eventful night and if nothing else we got some good footage and a funny story to tell.
We'll be playing originals and covers at What the Dickens in Tokyo this Saturday night. Come check us out!
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